Sarah Hogle - You Deserve Each Other

Published : 2020

368 Pages

Reading time : 21 - 25 May 2020

Rating : 5/5

I picked up this book when I was not in the mood to read and in my one of darkest mood. I ended up wasting about 40% part of this book, not really getting what I'm reading. But I was so glad that I've decided to push myself to read it through that brought me to yet another book in my favorite shelf.

Nicholas and Naomi's relationship is hilarious. I mean their pranks, LOL. I was so fed up with Nicholas for the first part of the book because he was simply not caring about Naomi and I feel sorry for her because she kind of deserve more. It was like Nicholas put everyone else first before Naomi. He was even such a Mamma Boy and let his mother treated Naomi as if she's only a doormat which anger me more.

But little did I know, because we only see this story from Naomi's point of view, we didn't see what was really happening from Nicholas's point of view. I nearly put this book down because I was so fed up of Nicholas even though their pranks were hilarious. Eventually, little by little we get Nicholas's point of view. and I was so touched that what he has done (also the house) was in order to keep their relationship together because Nicholas always love Naomi.

What sadden me was because Naomi misunderstood all of them and didn't notice his small gestures that he has been doing all the time. I am a sucker of small gestures and always believe that it's the simplest way to tell someone you love them.

I love how they eventually find way back to each other and fall in love with each other again, being in each other's back and supporting each other. I think we should find ourselves someone like Nicholas who will always support us every time and not judging ourselves (oh my God, I really LOVE how supportive Nicholas was, and his words are everything to me when I need someone to support me!). We all deserve someone like that. I also really love when Nicholas finally stood up for Naomi, even talking back to his mother thus made him free from his cage built by his mother.

Reading this made me remember how important small gestures are, communications and "stages" that we have to go through before we enter a lifetime commitment with someone. I always heard that you'll have to have a big fight with someone, seeing someone at their best and worst, at their most angry times before you marry them. This also reminds me how important is understanding each other's love language. Nicholas delivered it by small gestures while Naomi expect it to be the same as how he took care of everyone else.

Nicholas telling her it's okay not to work is his way of telling her that he'll always have her back and took care of her everything. Too back Naomi misunderstood it by taking it as a mockery. It felt like I was in Naomi's position when she realized that she misunderstood his actions and know it was all his way of telling her that he care so much about her. It left me a not to take a better look on everything so I didn't miss them or misunderstood them.

I also love how this book brought up an issue about wedding. Lately, there have been a talk in my country by people around my age that a wedding ceremony is somehow doesn't feel like the bride and the groom's day anymore. It's more of their parents'. Of course it is okay to be that way, but even though Hogle delivered it in a bold way (Nicholas's mother have her way all the way about the wedding and not letting Naomi have a bit of herself, including the wedding dress!!!), I still get a real feeling how hard it can be to be in the same pages for two families planning a wedding.

I always believe that a wedding day is all about the bride and the groom. It is how they represent themselves on their once in a lifetime day of exchanging vow to each other. Some of us are so lucky to have it all their way. Some of us are lucky enough to find a common ground to make it all work. This book reminded me to be brave to speak up for yourself when you find everything so overwhelming.

That all aside, I love Hogle's writing in this book (also I am very sorry that I've neglected 40% of the book. I should really re-read this book!) that brought us to a journey of finding love again in a second chance. Naomi and Nicholas are both interesting person (I love how their relationship took from lovers to enemies to lovers!) and made us realized to pay attention to little things, each other, and understanding love gestures. And that if we tried enough, we'll always find our way back. Also, it reminded me to always look back to the good days and all the effort when you want to give up on something. Will if be worth it to try? What if you hold on and try it one more time?

This is out of topic but I really love their house! It made me remember of an Airbnb I've stayed in Stockholm.

I have to give while expecting nothing in return; otherwise, the gestures are empty. I hope I won't be the only one there trying.